What is Relationship Counseling?
Usually in regards to relationship counseling, the first question I get asked is - “Abby, why do you call it relationship counseling? Isn’t it couple’s counseling?”
The reason for this is we now live in a world where romantic partnerships are not always between a couple. I work with a variety of relationships, including polyamorous, open, and swinging. Furthermore, not every duo who comes looking for help considers themselves “coupled.” Relationship counseling can help in the traditional ways we think of - for those who are dating, considering marriage, have been together or married for a long time, and for those facing the end of their relationship. However, it can also be helpful for co-parents who haven’t been together for sometime, but still want to model respect and love for their children. It can be for those who have broken up and gotten back together more times than they can count and they just want to know if there is a middle ground. It can even be for close friendships that can benefit from an outside perspective. I cannot define which relationships can benefit from counseling, and prefer to keep an open mind.
What to Expect
When you attend relationship counseling, you can expect to come to the first session with your partner or partners. I will get a sense of who you are and what your goals are. I will also try to get to know you and the history of the relationship. From there we will come up with a plan that works for your relationship. This may include a mixture of individual and joint sessions, or we may choose to meet all together, every time. This is the beauty of relationship counseling - it is customizable to you, wherever you’re at in your journey.
You can also expect ‘homework’ in relationship counseling. There are 168 hours in a week, and meeting with me for one of those isn’t going to fix what is happening in your relationship. These might be communication exercises, figuring out ways to have fun together, or sex therapy exercises. Maintaining relationships takes a great deal of work and you will be asked to practice between our sessions.
I also let those in relationship know that my number one goal is to get you to a point where you and your partner(s) have the tools and skills to no longer need a therapist to get through tough conversations, big life events, or sexual issues. My goal is to give you knowledge to navigate things on your own. Many of those I work with find that as they start implementing the exercises in their day to day life, they can begin reducing the frequency of therapy and begin feeling more confident in having a relationship that works for them.
